What the hell are ya anyway?
While the most concise way to describe myself is a Neptunic-ish Dickgirl, the full label list is Aplatonic Fraysexual Neptunic Azurgirl Transsexual Dickgirl. That's uh.... that's a lot, right? And you probably haven't heard of damn near any
of these. So, let's break these down by their individual components and explain them a bit. First, the attraction section, Aplatonic Fraysexual Neptunic... what the hell are those?!?!
— This just means I don't feel any
emotional attachment to friends. People on the asexual spectrum often describe their feelings for their frends as "squishes" rather than "crushes". I do not have these, and instead hang out and talk to my friends because it is a fun activity I enjoy, but purely as a logic-based approach.
— Basically, if I'm sexually attracted to you, I'll find you hot/cute/sexy/etc. until we enter a relationship and we hang out in person a few times, then the "new car smell" wears off. I can still tell that you're attractive, but the ability for a "crush" is no longer there. Keep in mind, I am in no way shape or form
on the aromantic spectrum — i.e. I absolutely feel romantic attraction years into a relationship without that fading away. Staying with partners after my sexual attraction wears off is still a romantic endeavor.
— This orientation means I am attracted to both andrygony as well as femme-presenting people visually, however for sexual compatibility reasons there is a FAR more noticeable lean towards female "bits" over male "bits". There is no attraction whatsoever to masculine-presenting males with male bits (e.g. cis men). This manifests itself in strange ways, for example stereotypically female features on a cis man can be attractive (eye makeup for example), but other stereotypically female features can be unattractive (christmas ornament-sized earrings for example). Typically speaking however, if presented with the three visual steroptypes of male, female, and androgyny, I will never find male attractive, but the other two may vary. PLEASE NOTE:
attraction is NOT the same thing as who I would reasonably have sex with, there's obviously a LOT more to it than just looks.
Phew, are you still with me? That should cover the attraction parts. Now onto the gender itself. Luckily, this one's rather easy as it's just the one!
— "Female-aligned, but also masculine in nature". Literally that simple. Best way to describe for all the straight cis men out there is that one hot chic that's a car mechanic and still dresses pretty — makeup and all — while getting down and dirty on a crawler dropping the oil pan. And if you had no idea what any of that meant but it sounded hot, bingo, it's that
. A chic that can hang with the guys and do all the guy stuff but still be a chic. Probably why I can still speak the language too.
Now onto the physical parts. Yes, I know, it's a LOT of terms so far, but there's only two left! Ultimately though, an in-depth
comprehensive understanding of oneself through-and-through makes for a more honest and transparent person. If I can understand every ingredient to a T, and I can explain it adequately to you, that's a win-win in my book.
— As touched on here
, transsexual has a medical transition as a core component, while
simply means that I am not cisgender. Using a word that literally only means I am not cisgender isn't anywhere close to specific enough for my tastes, hence the preference for being referred to as a transsexual, should that component arise. Bear in mind that while this is under the transgender umbrella term, transsexual is a much, much narrower umbrella term.
— Falling under the transsexual umbrella, this is a term I invented to describe my complete identity. You can read more about my rationale here
, but effectively it means a male lower half and a female upper half. It does NOT solely refer to a trans woman that has a desire for bottom surgery but hasn't gotten one yet, it is specifically intended for transsexuals that find gender euphoria (or even just a lack of gender dysphoria) from having a penis. It is up to the individual to decide if they want to use it or not.
While it is true that on TikTok, I use the hashtags of #transgender, #nonbinary, etc., I do so ONLY for search engine optimization reasons. I fit under the conventional
definitions of these two terms, however I am not comforatble at all using them on myself. If you watch my older TikToks, you'll probably come across quite a few where use labels I no longer identify as, such as #bisexual or #bigender — this shift in orientation and gender seem to predominately stem from a better matching of both brain and body as a result of starting hormone replacement therapy. Nothing says that some of these, at least, won't change. But on a historical scale, the only ones that have seen any movement at all
are my asexual spectrum placement and my gender. The rest have remained stable since at least
2007, and they haven't changed one bit since then...
Other than medical transition, of course!