What the hell are ya anyway?
The full label list is neptunic, bigendered,
, transgender MTF, dickgirl. Let's break these down by their individual components and explain them a bit.
— This means I am attracted to both andrygony as well as femme-presenting people visually, however for sexual compatibility reasons there is a FAR more noticeable lean towards female "bits" over male "bits". There is no attraction whatsoever to masculine-presenting males with male bits (e.g. cis men). This manifests itself in strange ways, for example stereotypically female features on a cis man can be attractive (eye makeup for example), but other stereotypically female features can be unattractive (christmas ornament-sized earrings for example). Typically speaking however, if presented with the three visual steroptypes of male, female, and androgyny, I will never find male attractive, but the other two may vary. PLEASE NOTE:
attraction is NOT the same thing as who I would reasonably have sex with, there's obviously a LOT more to it than just looks.
— This is both for physical and identity reasons. Physically, I have a male lower half and a female upper half, both of which I am happy with as they give me gender euphoria. This isn't wholly either of the binary options, but rather a combination of both. This also ties into my identity, I tend to take things from both of the cisgendered binaries — from characteristics, to behaviors, to mindsets, to emotions, among other things — and thus identify as a mix-and-match of both binaries, without having anything that falls outside of both. Thus, in every single way, I am a combination of male and female, rather than something that falls between the two.
— This one doesn't actually apply, and I ONLY use for the technicality of bigendered being under the nonbinary umbrella. Nonbinary is typically seen as resonating neither with male nor with female identities, and falling somewhere between the two, but can also be viewed as neither strictly male, nor strictly female. For the former, it applies, but for the latter, it doesn't. Thus, I don't actually refer to myself as nonbinary in conversation. However, it shows up (for example) in the hashtags on TikTok so others who are looking to find videos from creators that are a part of the gender spectrum outside of being entirely one of two points (i.e. the binaries) can find my videos. Being a mix of both binaries usually falls into what they're looking for, so I use it there, but at no point do I resonate with it, hence it being crossed off my list above.
— I specifically prefer MTF (Male-To-Female) instead of "trans woman" where possible for a few reasons. First, I've come across multiple people outside of the rainbow community that don't immediately know whether "trans woman" means starting from
a woman, or transitioning to
one. Using MTF solves this issue. Second, it describes the direction of my transition — I started with fully male sex characteristics, and am transitioning some of them to female sex characteristics. Third, due to the nature of being a bigendered dickgirl, it can get confusing to call myself both a woman and bigendered simultaneously. While I could in theory call myself Male To Bigendered or Male To Dickgirl, these terms are extremely rare to use, and Male To Nonbinary isn't a term that I have found thus far, but have found several examples of nonbinary trans individuals using MTF or FTM to describe themselves. However, I do present very femme, and it's less clunky to say, so I still often call myself a trans woman.
— This is a term I invented to describe my gender identity. You can read more about my rationale here
, but effectively it means a male lower half and a female upper half. It does NOT refer to a trans woman that has a desire for bottom surgery but hasn't gotten one yet, it is specifically intended for trans women that find gender euphoria (or even just a lack of gender dysphoria) from having a penis. It is up to the individual to decide if they want to use it or not.